


long live

by ongnigiri



Category: Wanna One (Band)
Genre: Canon Compliant, M/M, OFC - Freeform, Post-Disbandment AU, and ongniel, but this isnt sad i swear, idk if this is even worth the read omg, just bittersweet?, just some emotional mess, love letter to wannaone, this is all the concerts fault
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-04
Updated: 2018-06-04
Packaged: 2019-05-18 07:29:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,015
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14848385
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ongnigiri/pseuds/ongnigiri
Summary: Seongwu fears today.A.k.a the morning after disbandment.





	long live

**Author's Note:**

> my entry for ongniel week day 6: morning after (´・ω・`)  
> thank you to emma and ivi for organizing such a wonderful week!!!
> 
> for charm, ross, jodie, and me, as always. for ongnation <3

 

 

 

 

 

In one of their yesterdays, Daniel was way ahead of Seongwu, and Seongwu hadn’t cared about the gap.

He looked up from his place on the third row, to Daniel who was seated at the top of the pyramid, all bright eyes and big smiles, heart worn in his sleeves. He was looking at the crowd, scanning and smiling at every opportunity while everybody claps for his victory. He truly looked like a victor, wearing an invisible crown of his glory. When his eyes met with Seongwu’s, his smile grew even wider.

Seongwu smiled back.

And Seongwu was ambitious— had always been; He had eyed that seat ever since the beginning, went through this competition aiming for nothing else but being at the top. Yet in that moment, as Daniel mouthed to him that _I’m happy_ , _hyung_ and _I_ _get to be with you,_ all Seongwu felt was genuine happiness for Daniel, for no one else deserved being their center more than Daniel does.

Seongwu clapped with all his might, wishing it will be heard despite thousands doing the same for Daniel.

 

 

 

 

 

Today, lying on a queen-sized bed, Seongwu remembers, it was the start of an age— a journey with Kang Daniel.

 

 

 

 

 

 

In one of their yesterdays, Seongwu was a mixture of stressed and overwhelmed, hands cold and tongue dry as they prepare back stage for their debut stage. Everyone seemed to be doing a better job than Seongwu, with Minhyun spewing words of encouragement like the angel that he was and some others quietly dancing to their choreographies in their own corner of the backstage.  

Seongwu on the other hand was just standing in one place, clasping his cold hands together and rubbing them in hopes of some warmth as he breathes heavily. He wanted to feel better, to become less nervous, because everyone else seemed relaxed. He had his eyes closed in concentration when Daniel took his hands into his.

He placed Seongwu’s palm into his chest, letting him feel his heart beating so wildly.

_Hyung, I’m nervous too._

It’s amazing how he hadn’t said a word, but Daniel seemed to have understand, how his words were enough for Seongwu’s worries to die down a little, for him to feel that he wasn’t alone.

Daniel flashed him a smile, Seongwu’s favorite in the world.

_But we shouldn’t be, we have each other. I will be there with you._

And in that moment, Seongwu couldn’t tell if it was the adrenaline that was causing his heart to stammer so loudly against his ribcage, or if it was Daniel’s assurance, and his hand holding his.

But he decided, he liked this feeling.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Today, Seongwu realizes, that was the moment he knew for certain, he loved Daniel.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

In one of their yesterdays, Seongwu woke up with Daniel cocooned beside him on the top bunk. Their space was tiny, what with Daniel’s curved position and huge body, enveloping him completely. Seongwu sat up and leaned across Daniel to peer at the bottom bunk, where Jisung was still sleeping quietly. Then he leaned back and rested his back on the wall, gazing at Daniel’s sleeping face.

His hair was dishevelled, in little waves that probably came from sleeping right after last night’s shower. His forehead was covered while his lips are stretched into a smile, showing his bunny teeth. Seongwu chuckled at the sight, wondering what Daniel could be dreaming of.

 _Seongwu_ , _Seongwu hyung_ , Daniel had whispered, shocking the older. He wondered for a moment if Daniel could be dreaming of him, but Daniel opened one of his eyes, and then soon, the other.

 _Good_ _morning,_ Daniel had greeted. Seongwu laughed and hit him at his side, asking him why he slept there when he had a bed on his own. Daniel didn’t answer, just pulled Seongwu down to lie down on the bed with him once more, to which the older complied, wriggling his way closer into Daniel, then closing his eyes.

After a few minutes of Daniel hugging Seongwu, a few minutes of their sync breathing filling Seongwu’s ears, Daniel leaned to his ear and whispered:

_You were fast asleep last night, but I wanted to be the first to greet you._

_Happy Birthday._

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Today, Seongwu still had it engraved in his head, the face that Daniel makes while he sleeps.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

In one of their yesterdays, Daniel was preparing to leave, packing his clothes and stuffing some jellies for a variety show that required him to stay away from the dorms. Seongwu was sitting at the top bunk, watching Daniel’s side of the room get emptier as more and more of his suitcases get full. His chest felt a little heavy, he wondered if it was because of the food he ate last night. He distracted himself by thinking about what he could eat for dinner.

 _Stop frowning now, will you?_ Daniel’s voice echoed throughout their small room, invading Seongwu’s thoughts. Seongwu hadn’t noticed Daniel standing on Jisung’s bed to reach closer to the top bunk, stretching his hand to hold Seongwu’s.  _I know you wanted that show so much, I’m sorry I wasn’t able to get it for you._

Seongwu patted Daniel’s face lightly, an affectionate slap, as he frowned deeper, _It’s not that._

Daniel acted as if he was hurt for a second, before he erupted into giggles, _I know, it’s because you will miss me._

And Seongwu didn’t move, didn’t say a word to deny what was said, because it was nothing but the bare truth, he will miss Daniel. He couldn’t imagine the nights he’d have to spend without him, no matter how short the younger claims it will be.

The silence seemed to deliver things more than words could have, for Daniel bloomed into a bright shade of red the longer Seongwu eyed him wordlessly, with such intensity in his eyes. He turned to look away, but his hands were still on Seongwu’s.

_If you miss me, sleep in my bed._

 

 

 

Today, the scent of Daniel’s blanket still lulls Seongwu to his sleep.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

In one of their yesterdays, Seongwu had made Daniel upset.

It was probably the deception stunt Seongwu had pulled for that day’s recording, for Daniel had trusted him fully but he turned out to be evil, betraying both Daniel and Jonghyun. He felt sorry, really. But he had to do it, not just for the show, but for his own, too. For the sake of catching up to Daniel.

 _I’m sorry, Daniel. Hm?_ It was the umpteenth time Seongwu had apologized on the car ride home, yet Daniel was still sulking at him. The guy was a total ray of sunshine, it was hard to make him mad, yet he hadn’t batted and eye on Seongwu for a whole half an hour.

Seongwu was on the verge of giving up, wanting to just swallow his apologies after being rejected a lot of times, when Daniel finally spoke.

_You did so well today, hyung._

Seongwu turned to Daniel who was facing the window instead of him, purposefully avoiding eye contact. He wanted to see what expression it was that Daniel was making, but he didn’t have the courage to do so.

_I was afraid, afraid you’d go too far I wouldn’t be able to catch up to you._

Daniel had uttered, before finally turning and smiling at Seongwu.

_I’ll work harder so you wouldn’t leave me behind._

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Today, Seongwu thinks, Daniel was actually the one who kept climbing up, and Seongwu was the one who was being left behind.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

In one of their yesterdays, Seongwu was upset about Daniel.

Daniel wasn’t feeling well, wrapped up in his blankets like a cocoon.

Seongwu was a little angry, what with Daniel shouldering almost all of their individual schedules, exhausting him to his core. He had argued with the manager, with their coordinators, with Jisung, basically everyone he can argue with, his worry for Daniel getting the best of him.

 _Stop frowning, you look ugly._ Daniel’s voice was muffled with the sheets he was covering half of his face with, droopy eyes set on to Seongwu, who stayed sitting at the foot of his bed after all the commotion he had caused.

Seongwu had jested, _I can never be ugly_ , earning a laugh from Daniel, but it soon died as Daniel reached out a hand to smooth the creases in Seongwu’s forehead.

_I’m fine, I’m fine._

Daniel told him he has a gift for him, surprising Seongwu as it should be the other way around, before he asked the older to get it in his closet. Seongwu found a box, blue and prettily enamoured with a simple white ribbon, and in it he found a necklace, the sun enveloping the crescent moon.

_Because you’re my sun, hyung. And I’m literally the moon shining because of you._

And Seongwu was still upset, still troubled, especially when he felt how warm Daniel’s hand when he touched him, but Daniel was smiling, and despite his current state, it still blinded Seongwu.

Seongwu shook his head in disagreement as he settled back to his seat at the foot of Daniel’s bed— it was the other way around— Seongwu was the moon and Daniel was his sun. Daniel just took his hand onto his, and closed his eyes with a smile.

When Daniel fell asleep, Seongwu casted his quiet vows in his ears:

_I will work harder to shoulder at least half of this weight with you._

_Happy birthday, Daniel._

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Today, Seongwu scans their fantaken pictures, wearing the same necklace on that same day, a bittersweet smile spreading on his face.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

In one of their yesterdays, they were surrounded by a number of well-known artists, waiting to welcome the new year in the stage instead of the comforts of their dorm.  Jisung had told them not to sulk about it, to be thankful that they get to spend such an event like this, but the truth is he didn’t even need to say so, for everyone was already grateful for this great opportunity, Seongwu included.

Sungwoon was greeting his friends, hanging out with a circle that sometimes made Seongwu envious. Minhyun often times took a break to video call his brothers, his family. Jisung made some idol friends too, and was interacting with them at one side.

But Daniel— Daniel was always beside him.

When the clock hit twelve, the emcees announced the arrival of a new year.

When his eyes met with Daniel’s, Seongwu got his first greeting:

_Congratulations on turning twenty-three today._

 

 

Today, Seongwu wonders, in one of his tomorrows, will Daniel still always be the first to greet him?

 

 

 

 

 

 

In one of their yesterdays, they all get driven to the edge, the amount of hate they receive suddenly a little too much for them to bear.

It was a simple mistake, something that should not have been blown up into something so big like it had been, but they were at the top, and many strived to take them down.

Some of them didn’t talk, some of them were crying. It wasn’t like they weren’t used to criticisms, but sometimes it made them feel like they couldn’t be humans, like they needed to be more than a mortal mistake-committing being.

Seongwu was particularly heavily affected, after having caught saying words that express his exhaustion, words he shouldn’t have said,  for he should be nothing else but grateful. He was staring blankly at the floor, seated at the common couch of their apartment, when Daniel reached for his hand and squeezed it.

It was such a small action, but it prompted the tears Seongwu had been trying so hard to hold back to finally fall.

_What if they forget about me, Daniel?_

Seongwu hated the fear he had, loathed how much the thought of being hated wasn’t even the thing that concerns him right now, but the thought of being forgotten. Because Ong Seongwu’s dream had always been to leave a mark in this world, to die only after he was able to leave an imaginary ‘Ong-Seongwu-has-been-here’ banner on earth, and it scared him how easy love can turn into hate, how fast people can forget.

Daniel pulled him into a hug, shushing his sobs, tracing soothing circles on his back.

After a while, he pulled away and cupped Seongwu’s cheeks with his hands, staring at his eyes.

_Even if they end up doing so, I won’t._

_Even if we part ways, I won’t._

_I will never forget you._

 

 

 

 

 

Today, Seongwu doesn’t even care if he gets forgotten, as long as one person remembers.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

In one of their yesterdays, Seongwu was a mixture of stressed and overwhelmed, with his debut as an emcee nearing day by day, Seongwu feared that people might hate what could slip out of his lips.

He was reviewing his scripts, facing the mirror, going on some tongue twisters to exercise his speaking abilities when Daniel entered the room, a cup of tea in hand. He wordlessly handed it to Seongwu before sitting down his bed, nodding his head to prompt Seongwu to continue.

Seongwu took a sip of the tea, before placing the cup down Daniel’s night stand, and continued with his practice.

When he finished, Daniel gave him a round of applause, a little too loud for their small shared room, and one of his brightest smiles.

_You did well, hyung. They will love you._

Seongwu thought it was a good time for a joke. _Just them?_

He realizes it wasn’t when Daniel’s smile grew smaller, shy, but not any less brighter.

_Me too._

 

 

 

 

 

 

Today, Seongwu wishes he was a little bit braver, then maybe he could have said _I love you,_ a little bit earlier.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

In one of their yesterdays, Seongwu found Daniel lying in his bed at the bottom bunk, smiling at his ipad while scrolling. Once he noticed Seongwu’s presence, he shoved his screen into Seongwu’s face.

_Look, hyung! It’s been a year since our subway adventure!_

Seongwu looked through the pictures in Daniel’s feed, memories of a year ago flashing through him like a bullet train. They were just trainees, all of them, when he and Daniel went to see their subway advertisement boards in Hapjeong Station, a little too delighted to know that there were actually people who supported them, who wanted them to make it.

The memories stirred something inside Seongwu. They had just been a bunch of hopefuls, dreaming the same dream, and here they were, living it.

He placed the ipad down Daniel’s bed and took the younger’s hand into his.

_I like you._

And Daniel was still giggling, but even his breathing stopped with Seongwu’s words. He looked at Seongwu then, melting under the intensity of his gaze, ears red to the tips. Even Seongwu himself is surprised with how sudden he said those words.

A moment of silence and Seongwu was crumbling down, retreating and taking his hand away from Daniel’s, ready to leave the world and run away. He was almost stumbling at the door when Daniel pulled him back, hugging him tightly, arms around his waist.

_I love you, hyung, more than you can ever imagine._

The world seemed to have stopped at that very moment, their sync breathing being the only noise that filled the room for god knows how long. They stayed still, in each other’s embrace, before Daniel pulled away, and then pulled closer, leaning in until his face was just a mere inch away from Seongwu’s.

They shared a kiss, their first of many.

Seongwu’s thin lips against Daniel’s shaking plump ones. Seongwu smiled into the kiss, sensing how nervous Daniel was. He gave Daniel a squeeze in the arm, to hopefully calm him down.

When they parted, Seongwu whispered what he truly wanted to say, even more than the words ‘I like you’:

_I’m glad I get to live the time of my life with you._

 

 

He had the time of his life with Daniel, and for today, the thought of it will keep Seongwu going.

 

 

 

 

 

In one of their yesterdays, Seongwu woke up with Daniel beside him again, enveloping him in his huge arms. He promptly remembered being manhandled out of his place at the top bunk, pulled into the bottom bunk and nestled in by Daniel.  It had been three consecutive days of this happening, and his army of seals were already overtaking his bed in his absence.

It was one of the mornings when they didn’t have to wake up with an alarm clock, one of the mornings Seongwu spent staring at Daniel’s peaceful sleeping face, trying to decipher the stories that Daniel tells in his sleep.

Daniel woke up an hour later, nuzzling closer to Seongwu as soon as consciousness hit him, trapping Seongwu in his arms.

When he lifted his head, he stole a kiss from Seongwu.

_This is the best day ever._

Seongwu laughed. The day hasn’t even started yet. He pointed out that Daniel had been saying that every day for the past three weeks.

Daniel just smiled, leaning closer to kiss the side of Seongwu’s neck and then whispering,

_Because everyday is._

 

 

 

 

Today, Seongwu counts in his fingers just how many ‘best day ever’-s they have had. He fails and fails; they’ve had a tad too much.

 

 

 

 

 

In one of their yesterdays, Seongwu was a mixture of stressed and overwhelmed, preparing for a solo act that is nothing but mere seconds, but his hands were shaking, unable to fight the nervousness that he was feeling.

Daniel was suddenly at his back, draping his huge body all over him, giving a peck in his cheeks then dragging him to a secluded corner of the backstage. He started massaging Seongwu’s back, pressing his palms and the crook of his bones, when Seongwu pulled away and turned around, frowning. Daniel chuckled and pulled him again into a hug.

_You’ve practiced enough, you did well. You will do well._

Seongwu found it amazing how a few words from Daniel can make his heart calm down, how he couldn’t believe those words even when he’s said it to himself countless of times, but he easily did so when it came from Daniel. Seongwu had always been considered strong among the bunch of them, one of the trusted hyungs the younger ones run to in times of trouble. He didn’t know when and how Daniel found out he was actually just a boy trembling in the knees.

 _Should I distract you?_ Daniel had suggested, wriggling his eyebrows, making Seongwu burst into laughter.

And that was how they ended up making out on one corner of the backstage, twenty minutes before the start of their concert. Seongwu had always thought he was a proper man who, will never do something risky in his life, not until he had calculated all the possible outcomes. But that was a total opposite of how Daniel was— spontaneous subway adventures, late night dates, and stolen backstage kisses— colors that Seongwu wasn’t wearing in the beginning, colors Daniel had painted on him.

 

 

 

 

 

Today, Seongwu can’t help but think, Daniel was a wild ride, and Seongwu loved every inch of him.

 

 

 

 

 

 

In one of their yesterdays, Seongwu allowed himself to cry as he scans the crowd.

In his sight is a sea of stars, the stars that have made his dark nights bright. Seongwu couldn’t help but wonder, after they leave the stage as 11 for the last of time, how many of these stars would stay for him? Seongwu feared his sky would be dark, not a single speck of soul to light him up. But then Daniel was suddenly beside him—gravity naturally pulling him onto Seongwu even if their arrangement shouldn’t allow so— squeezing his hand tightly while his other hand waved at the crowd, and Seongwu was again reminded that it will never be dark, for Seongwu had the sun beside him.

They took their bows, said they final goodbyes.

Once they left the stage, they’ve already started walking on their different paths.

 

 

 

 

In one of their yesterdays, Seongwu had Daniel.

 

 

 

In one of his tomorrows, will he still be there?

 

 

 

Seongwu fears that today.

 

 

 

 

 

Because today, their journey together has come to an end.

 

 

 

 

Today, Seongwu wakes up in a queen sized bed, the other side cold and empty. His hand automatically reach out to the space next to him, fully aware that no one will be there any more to grab his hand and tuck it into his.  Coldness seems to wrap around him as his thoughts immediately run into all of their shared yesterdays, from the very beginning, until the end. He reached out his hand in the air, grasping at nothing in particular. Everything seemed like a dream— his wildest dream.

He forces himself to stand up with his body still heavy from the concert yesterday, limbs aching at certain points, a reminder that everything was indeed real and not a dream, and it makes him smile a little.

The space that welcomes him is an unfamiliar one, wider and much better than their room at the dorms. Seongwu barely remembers being brought here by his new manager, still all too high from last nights’ event.

Seongwu scans his eyes around.

It doesn’t feel like home.

 

 

 

 

 

Today, silence creeps into Seongwu’s core as he makes his own breakfast with the vast supplies the apartment has stock in the fridge, a little too much for someone who’s going to live alone. Seongwu sighs and it echoes throughout the room. He misses Jaehwan’s random singing, Woojin and Jihoon’s random bantering, Daniel rushing to be the first to greet him in the morning.

 _Shit,_ he misses everything.

Seongwu is about to wallow in misery when the door flies open and in it comes Daniel, in his casual plaid outfit, sauntering through the room as if it’s his own. He automatically drapes himself into Seongwu, pulling the older into a tight hug, whispering his greetings of a good morning, and Seongwu can feel it, can feel his heart suddenly swelling, because why does Daniel have to appear always at the right moment?

Then Daniel pulls away, stares at the tears at the side of Seongwu’s eyes, and pinches his nose with a grin.

_I knew you’d be like this._

And then Seongwu is being pulled into a kiss— a long, lazy, searing kiss. Hands automatically wrap around his waist, pulling him closer, wanting more of him.

When they part, Daniel whispers:

  _I’ll be beside you._

Seongwu chuckles. As always, Kang Daniel knew exactly the words he needed to hear.

 

 

 

 

Today, Daniel drags him to sneak into their old apartment, their very first, hand in hand as they walk through the familiar streets. Daniel has a plastic of chips he brought on their way, and Seongwu wonders why he needed that many, he soon finds out why when he finds the rest of the group waiting for them inside the apartment.

They don’t even greet Seongwu and Daniel as they remove their shoes and come inside, Sungwoon just saying a small _oh hey, you’re here,_ while the others just look their way and nod to acknowledge their presence. It was as if it was a given that they would be there that it didn’t need a grand greeting, like a normal day of coming home from their schedules. Seongwu would prefer it any time of the day, the sense of regularity that everyone is giving him, because their group might have ended, but their friendship hasn’t.

Jaehwan is still singing out loud while Jisung and Sungwoon are trying to cook at the kitchen, accompanied by Jinyoung and Daehwi. Woojin and Jihoon are playing video games at the sofa, bantering so often when Jihoon kills Woojin for the nth time. Guanlin, as usual, is already taking a nap, and Minhyun is still cleaning mess after mess that everyone else makes.

And Daniel is still here, still beside him.

Seongwu smiles.

It feels like home.

 

 

 

 

Today, Seongwu is still afraid of tomorrows.

 

 

But atleast, today, he still has Daniel holding his hand.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 (long live, wanna one)

 

**Author's Note:**

> uhm ok this is an experimental writing structure i once tried on a fic for a ship from a different fandom and i was reading it and thought oh i want an ongniel like this too!!! and also i wasnt supposed to write it until like December but i thought it fitted the morning after theme so here it is (altho now that i think about it, does it even fit lmao)
> 
> i wrote majority of this in one seating im so sorry for all the verb confusions im sorry if its a mess lol
> 
>  
> 
> also please listen to long live by taylor swift and come at me if you don't think its so canon ongniel!!!! pls!!!!
> 
>  
> 
> uh anyway thank you for reading
> 
>  
> 
> @ongnigiri_


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